Teach me.

I finally did something today that I have resisted so many times before in the past. It impacted me and I believe it impacted the other person also.

Everyday I hear things over and over that they become what I believe even if I don't know why. I fight this furiously daily in certain areas that I find extremely important. That is one thing I do not understand in people. How they can follow something to the extent of cutting people and experiences out of their lives when, if asked why, they can not explain themselves. If you can't fight them all, fight the most important ones or the fire that is the closest to the gas tank. [The last four sentences might seem cryptic because my thoughts are all over the place.]

One of the things that I hear over and over are the phrases "that is bad", "you are wrong", and "that is incorrect". I have so many examples of this that it is clouding my brain. Hence; blogging. These phrases get pounded in my head every day but are not replaced with what is correct. For example: I 'know' that I have bad posture even though I do not know what good posture looks or feels like. No one has ever told or taught me the correct way to stand/sit/walk.

So, someone said, "you are doing it wrong" to me today. I said, "Alright, then tell me how it is supposed to be done." He froze. He tried to come up with an answer and couldn't. After a few seconds of this awkward standoff I said, "This is what I have found to be the best way and until you give me a better way, this is the way I will do it." Maybe I was a little rough. I have held back in other situations but I couldn't in this one because I had to change the way I was doing what we are doing and I didn't know another way.

This might fit into the "react" or "respond" thought. Maybe, or maybe it is a huge brain leap. Where a person can react to an action, which does not solve anything. Or a person can respond to an action in a way to help the situation. People, myself included, are quick to complain or point out a flaw but are slow to present a way to fix the problem. 90% of the time I react, I am pointing out a flaw in a venting way. 90% of the time I respond I give constructive criticism, give a well thought out plan, or put someone else before me.

So my challenge to myself is to do the opposite of what I hear nearly every day. This is a decision made before the time comes to react with knowledge, which makes my reaction a response. Also, this will lead me to the goal of not just pointing out a flaw but presenting the "most correct" [as correct as I know] or at the least, starting the dialog to the most correct or 'best' way to approach an issue.

I believe the last time I attempted to do this, many people got fed up with me trying to solve issues. They asked why I just couldn't let it go. I do not understand this either. Why go through something just to leave it unsolved for it to happen again. It is like throwing a baseball incorrectly. Every time you get out and throw you are going more damage to your arm and your shoulder will hurt every time. Just 'forgetting' about it and trying to move on doesn't help long term. It makes it feel better because you stop throwing the baseball for a few days. Then that day comes when you have to throw again. Why not fix the style in which you throw? It might be harder and feel weird for a little bit, but I swear it'll hurt less in the long term.