My life.

When I think about my life it is remembered by things that have happened. Not by being able to relive moments. Almost as if my memory is of still pictures with an audio track. This is most likely a defense mechanism to keep me from thinking about everything that I want to think about and to forget the things I don't want to remember. Certain things I want to remember and can't though. So now I am attempting new patterns and plans to help me 'turn on' my memory when I know there is something that I want to remember.
That is great and all but a large majority of the things I want to remember are things that are experienced in the moment. If I have to take myself out of it to 'turn on' then what is the point of it anyways? Tricking myself into remembering things when I feel a certain way will be hard but I believe will increase the memory that makes people feel loved. Remembering their name, their favourite singer, their eye color, one thing they said they were having to deal with the last time we talked. These things make a large impact on a person. When we part ways, it is not as if that person stops living while I am not observing them. It is almost like quantum theory. If something isn't being observed then technically, it is everywhere it could possibly be, all at the same time. So when we spend time together again I have no idea where they have been and also just by me observing and bringing back something remembered, it grounds them and creates a past that they and I can hold on to.