Emotional influence.

I'd like to continue the 'impact' conversation from yesterday. The impact that emotions have in our lives is incredible. Something occurs in our life either traumatic or great and the emotion that we take on from that incident changes our entire life. This is interesting because the impact of the actual event in itself is limited to the physical. Then this physical causes an emotion effect. Then this emotional effect causes another physical effect on the other side. My words are becoming twisted since this thought is being thought out as I type it. We (humans) are almost like a transitional vehicle for a change to have much wider effects. I think an example would be best.

A girl and guy are walking. They walk beneath a tree and the guy jumps and pulls on it. Leaves and sticks start falling out all over the girl. They keep walking and talking. The physical action is completed. The effect of the guy pulling on it is through. Yes the leaves and sticks that have fallen could change the future because now someone might have to sweep the sidewalk, etc. All of those effects though are connected to the actual physical action. Well the girl really hates leaves and sticks in her hair. A week later the girl is walking past the same tree and is reminded of it. She not only avoids walking under the tree but goes home and throws away everything that reminds her of him. This causes him to come by and bang on the door. Causes things to be thrown across the room. Now all of these other physical effect trains have begun which technically all stem from this one event that is not physically linked what-so-ever.

The people and the emotions cause effects to be spread much much further than they would if humans weren't there. Without us, if a tree falls; it falls. It doesn't cause something else to change miles away.

Post-it.

My thoughts are like a stack of post-it notes. After I get them, I put them somewhere. Either in a conversation with a friend, my shower, over breakfast, my nightstand, or I post it here. The sad part about that is if they go somewhere else, then they don't end up here. So to rectify this, I will *attempt* to put all or the majority of the thoughts here.
Today's thought stems from an interesting place. When I got up this morning my feet felt heavy. Every time I stepped I imagined a shock wave going out in all directions. Then when the shock wave hit the walls it climbed up them and onto the ceiling.
-Tangent- Impact craters are formed when an object strikes a surface with enough force to deform the surface. The size of the crater depends on the force (mass of the object multiplied by the acceleration) and the makeup of the surface.-/Tangent-
What determines the 'impact crater' of a person. The 'realm of influence' if you will. Is it location, exposure, or personality. Or more? Or all? This equation seems so infinitely complex because it is just not two 3D objects colliding but two infinitely complex beings colliding and interacting.
I bring up this whole subject because part of the reason we are willing to do some of the horrible things we do is because we do not see the impact crater that it will cause. We justify it by convincing ourselves that no one outside of the immediate will be affected. When I believe if we could see at least a few more of the consequences at the point of decision then so many mistakes or poor judgments could be avoided.
Note that this is not regarding the consequences of things that or out of the person's control (nature, other people, etc) but direct impact crater caused by that person at that time. If you know the equation, tell the world.

A whole new world....

No, I am not watching Aladdin but I hope you now have that song in your head. For the next TEN days I will be on vacation. Most likely I will attempt to not allow myself internet access. [I sound so confident in my ability to avoid it huh?]

There is this great new book of quote by Greek Philosophers that I have been skimming in my spare time in the car. It is just convenient to have the quotes broken up already into subjects. The funny part is that I have started to think in the same wording structure and such as they did. So this morning when I had a thought it came out as:

"One should not believe that one's own perspective is clear, right, and true; even more so when the subject involves one's self."

Funny huh?

Many things but first: Authority vs. Correctness

Of course this got me thinking. One thing that I decided was that I am not sure that questioning one's authority is the same as questioning one's correctness. Yes our English language does a poor job of convincing us that they are not connected. [Example: "Mr. Thomnus is an authority of the subject because he has nine degrees on it."] If someone is one of the most correct on a subject, then they are an authority. I say we scratch this entire notion. Authority is a position. Questioning one's authority is questioning if the person should be in the position. Questioning one's correctness, even one that is in a place of authority, is not only healthy but necessary. Maybe this needs more thought and talk but I think not.



Last night I had another moment I do not want to forget. The leaves are changing colors. I drove to a friend's and then we drove to a hot tub. Sat and talked. It got cold. I got hot. The sunset was great. Believe it or not this isn't the best part. So it gets dark at 6:30pm now. We are a bit out in the country (where the hot tub is located). The stars start to come out. We order a pizza from the hot tub but want to go pick it up. We get out. I get cold. Changing and hoping into the car, I begin to drive down curvy roads with no street lights. Music low. Moments of silence and moments of conversation flow. Walking into the pizza place, we got looked at like aliens. Wet hair and light clothes on a night near freezing. The pizza smelt so good we couldn't resist. Cracked open the box and got back on back road. You handed me pizza so I balanced it with one hand and drove with the other. Laughing because: I am about to crash, the pizza burnt my mouth, and I have no idea where I am or where I am going. Then, Death Cab comes on. What timing.

i roll the window down
and then begin to breathe in
the darkest country road
and the strong scent of evergreen
from the passenger seat as you are driving me home.

then looking upwards
i strain my eyes and try
to tell the difference between shooting stars and satellites
from the passenger seat as you are driving me home.

"do they collide?"
i ask and you smile.
with my feet on the dash
the world doesn't matter.

Ya. That song.

Perspective, Warmth, and Beauty

In the gym last night: my friend and I talked about everything that is going on in our lives and some of the stuff we have seen or heard. Good times of sharing and stretching thoughts and arguments. He likes to play devil's advocate to see if his though pattern/argument will stand up beyond the confines of his head. Which I love about his external-processing self. Speaking of, I should be writing down my thoughts on 'argument styles' the next time I blog. He helps me bring perspective on my thoughts that I mull and never let out. The funny thing was that I used a title of a previous blog, 'Priority by Proximity', in one of my arguments.
In the house last night: I cleaned pretty much everything. Sadly, everything isn't enough and I have more to do when I get in tonight. Also, the heat at the house is out right now, which is horrible. Cleaning actually helped though. I got moving around so much I started to warm up and with my little space heater added on top of that, it was quite cozy. The floor space that I regain in my battles against the clutter and dirty clothes is more valuable than gold. [That is saying a lot because gold is at like a 20 year high.] I just like to be able to come in and sprawl out on my floor. Then, crawl onto my bed and sprawl there too. I slept much better last night than the night before. [That is a story and a half also.]
In the car this morning: I saw so many things. Little kids getting on buses, geese flying in formation, and the sun coming over the hill behind me and blinding me through my rear view mirror as it does nearly every morning. The thoughts begin to run. Where all this is from? Why is the purpose that the geese seem to have in their drive to survive so beautiful? Is that kid dreading going to school or looking forward to playing with that favorite toy at break time? I begin to appreciate again all that I am seeing as if it is the first time I opened my eyes. This feeling wells up. That feeling triggers the thought of you and the picture in my head of your smile. I smile. Then the sound of the radio pierces in and I hear the good news; highs in the mid 60s.

Changing change changes change.

Another way to say that is, "Changing how change occurs, changes which coins you receive from breaking a large bill." What? Did you expect something profound? How silly of you. That doesn't even make sense, much less is it profound.
Fall brings many things: cold weather, feelings, memories, and more. Every season brings change but fall attacks all of my senses. Well, at least it does where I live. So many colors appear that I wouldn't even think exist in nature. The smell of autumn. The cold air and long nights with ten blankets. The taste of pumpkin bread. The sound of leaves rustling. It is simply incredible.
So, I am starting to think that our society is structured in such a way that deep thought it is hindered. It actually seems structured to purposefully keep you mind constantly entertained with tasks that are time consuming and seemingly necessary. I am sure that if I attempted to do all my errands personally that I would have no time for anything else. Even more so when I am trying to find a new place to live. I wonder how much further our society would move if we didn't have to think about the small every day tasks that take up so much of our time. What do you think?

Too bad I have no real good musical talent... because I can hear the music.

Following the map you drew,
Its upside-down.
I'll get there eventually,
I always do.
Suddenly I start to think,
Of your sweet face.
Then drive right by the exit,
I meant to take.

And I can't help but smile.
This is how it is supposed to be.
No matter what happens now,
I've had what everyone wants.

Finally I get to you,
at the park.
Daises and sunbeams,
are all around.
A few dozen cookies,
baked for me.
We lay and read our books,
Mystery.

And I can't help but smile.
This is how it is supposed to be.
No matter what happens now,
I've had what everyone wants.