Change of Approach

It took weeks for blogging to become a habit. Every night I would sit down and think about all the things I need to do and then all the things I want to do then add blogging to that list. Then I would write in my stream of conscious about everything I was feeling and/or thinking. Now this approach will have to change. I canceled my internet over this past weekend for many reasons. Sorry World of Warcraft. One being it was always down anyways. So now I have to post the blog at the office. I do not have the time to go into everything that I'd like to when blogging at the office. So here is my solution: I will continue to blog at home but into a word document. Then, I will put this file onto a mass storage drive to bring into the office every morning and post it before work begins. The "post time" will be the time and date that I typed the post. Now I feel like they added the feature to change that option just for this reason. Most likely not but it is still nice.

I have gotten a few messages asking about the smitteness (I think I just created a new word) of myself, who the girl is that is being smitten over, and for an update on the situation. Well first, I would update if anything were worth updating. Two, there are other things to be talked about and said. Three, it is over and done.

So, someone said yesterday about a very hard situation, "That is all the good that can come of that." I disagree. I do not know what other good could come of that situation and if I sat and thought about it for years I still wouldn't know. But, who are we to determine or limit what good can come of the worst situation just because we are blind to it. I am thankful that the world is so much bigger and more complex than I can comprehend and also the fact that it is even possible for great things to come out of these situations.

I will post more often and longer now that I have a system for actually getting it to you.

Sensitivity

Have you ever put on a shirt/sock/pant and been pricked by something? Then you try to go find it with your hand and it is no where to be found. So the object almost becomes unwearable because you get pricked and you also can't change the situation so you won't get pricked. That is about how I feel around certain people. They prick me in certain ways and I have tried to let them know in some way to change the situation but it does not change anything. Then when I do open up they like run away and don't speak to me for weeks.

My car is still busted but I love the car I am borrowing now. It drives so much better than mine. I want to keep it and that is making me procrastinate on getting mine fixed. I have not posted pictures in a while but I will soon, I promise. My birthday is a week from today and I am getting pretty much very excited. I will be able to date like a grown up and go anywhere that I'd like to go. Speaking of dating, I am smitten. Every time we have talked so far it has been constant conversation and great conversation at that. We had been on the edge between saying, "Hi" and smiling real big when we meet and hugging for like a week. The other day she was mid conversation with someone and broke off to hug me and then went back. Maybe I am reading too much into it but I am smitten, so who cares? The situation is complicated though and I haven't told her that I am smitten yet. The past two women that I have told my feeling to have taken three steps back from me. I am being vague for a reason but if things change I won't be anymore.