Wait what?

When I am speaking to certain people, as I look at their eyes and they seem empty. that sounds harsh but I think why it appears this way is because of their approach to conversation. When someone else is talking, they are not listening but rather thinking of what they want to say in response. I know this because: they have confessed it to me, they can not wait till you finish a thought to jump in with their own, or they respond after you are done but the response goes against the latter half of your statement.

I'll address the last reason for clarity very quickly.

If I say, "I was so angry I just wanted to end the friendship but I won't because I have already forgiven him and we are already rebuilding the trust." Then they come back to say, "You really shouldn't end the friendship over that." I become stunned and either ask if they were there for the last half of my statement or I am so amazed that I just drop the whole thought altogether because they aren't worthy of it. [run-on].

In my quest to be a better listener, this has been the most valuable lesson to have learned. Honestly, when I wait till the end to think, something incredible (to me at least) comes up in my head. Then I think to myself, "I didn't know I knew that." or "How in the heck did I come up with such a good thought without my normal hours of contemplation?" Magic? No. Being a good listener and being thoughtful of the person. I think so.

Now to share the thing that came up last night that changes the way I view all my blessings.

Math has always come natural to me. Some people struggle with it as I struggle with spelling. If you asked me to explain math to you, I couldn't. If you asked me to figure something out through math, I could. I turned this 'gift' into a curse though. It perpetuated my laziness and planted the seed for procrastination. I still struggle with having a great work ethic unless it is structured time. My sister though, has the best work ethic because she had to work very hard at math and science for hours every night. This was a blessing that I used and didn't utilize. I could have utilized it to grow more and help others but I used it to 'take the easy road' and not grow. Some people are blessed with great families, some with money, some with physical ability, and some with a heart of gold. I am beginning to think that we shouldn't ever rely on our gifts but to utilized them to enhance our life. For when we do we increase to our full potential as we would through hardship.